A Real Estate Obituary

As I start writing I have to say I’m really not sure where I am going with this.  I’ve had a tough 24 hours.  One of my children is having a tough time.  But I can get help there though hard choices have to be made.  And then I receive a phone call yesterday letting me know that one of my “competitors” took his own life last week.

I don’t know why, though there is rampant speculation.  At this point it really doesn’t matter to me.  This gentleman was a good guy.  Though we disagreed as to how extended a person should get while real estate investing we both were honestly trying to help people while making a living for our families.

We’ve spoken on panels together.  We have mutual acquaintances.  We’ve shared a war story or two over the years.

A sinking feeling that I cannot shake says that because he was more and more in to the hard money loaning business that somehow that doubled down on him.  I cannot shake the feeling that real estate investing lead to the overwhelming pressure he must have been feeling.

The public thinks real estate is easy.  They think big cars, free time and see a hefty commission taken out of their proceeds.

They don’t see the rejection. The endless rejection.  They don’t see the weeks and months of no income.  They don’t see the stressed families because mom or dad cannot make it to a basketball game or theatrical performance or concert because some buyer decides that RIGHT NOW is the time they have to see a house.

Listen, we all have pressures in life.  We all make financial decisions we later regret.  We all have times where we want to throw up our hands and say enough.  However, enough means different things to different people, sadly.

My heart breaks for his wife and is saddened for his staff.  The repercussions will roll on and on, even to the creditors that must have been pressing harder and harder. Surely, this wouldn’t be the outcome they had imagined.

Resolve.  As a person of influence in the real estate business here in Kansas City, I resolve this day to take more time to connect, really connect with other agents.  I resolve to help each agent I come in contact to understand how to succeed in this business and to not let it swallow them up.  I resolve to recognize pain when I see it and to say something, to do something.

I wish this man’s soul well.  Some say suicide is an unpardonable sin.  But I just don’t know. What if there is depression or something else?  In any case, it is between him and God.  And I do pray, right now, that be resolved in a loving way.  Good bye.  You will be missed.


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6 responses to “A Real Estate Obituary

  1. Hey Chris, sorry for your loss. I am not sure if you have ever read this blog post but it sums up our crazy business pretty well.

  2. Michael – Thank you for sharing. That is a great read.

  3. Michelle W

    I’ve been struggling all day, after hearing the news just this morning about our mutual friend….to come to a healthy answer on how to reach out to others in our “community”…I think you summed it up…we have to reach out to each other and do our best to not let this thing we do swallow anyone up….still sad and feeling a lot heavier from this loss…he was a very good guy.

  4. Michelle, thank you for your comments. We just have to be aware and sensitive. It’s so easy to let your emotions take over in a bad deal. But each person deserves a level of respect.

  5. This made me stop in my tracks today. Thank you for writing this and sharing. I am sorry for your loss, and for the families loss and the real estate community loss. The pressure can be so stressful, as we can call it “bullying” on our own level. I bow my head in silence and pray for all who knew the agent and pray for strength. I pray for Realtors to be kind to each other. I am so sorry.

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