“This Property Really Cash Flows” & Other Dubious Real Estate Investment Sayings

I have a pet peeve.  Actually, I have more than one.  But real estate investing sayings drive me nuts.  For fun, I thought I would mention a few that I can think of right now.  Your comments and additions are definitely welcome! 

piluso3.jpgIn fact, the commenter that comes up with the best additional stupid real estate investment (or any kind of real estate is fine)  saying is going to win an autographed Christmas card from me and quite possibly, James Spader and William Shatner.  No joke.  I’ll be “hangin’ with the boys” on Monday.  But I can’t speak for them.  🙂

  • “This property really cash flows.”  (Really?  How much down?  What are the rents, expenses and growth projections?)
  • “All it needs is carpet and paint.” (If you didn’t notice that the roof is 50 years old.)
  • “Can’t miss.”  (No comment.)
  • “Every house on the block gets (fill in false number here) for rent.”
  • “The only expenses are taxes and insurance.”  (Sure.  And Santa Claus is real.)
  • “Rents easy.” (Only sorority girls…I better stop.)
  • “I have good credit but…”  (Run!)
  • “Turn key.”  (How much work do I have to do to make it turn-key?)
  • “Here is a pro forma.”  (In a library, pro formas would be filed under FICTION.)
  • “Maintenance free.”  (Nothing about a house, any house, is maintenance free.)

There are ten.  Now I’d love to hear from you.


Filed under Personal Real Estate Opinions

3 responses to ““This Property Really Cash Flows” & Other Dubious Real Estate Investment Sayings

  1. The rents are low. (Yeah, like your IQ.)

    You can save a bundle by managing them yourself. (You mean, into the ground as you have?)

  2. How on earth did I forget “Rents are low for this area”? Thanks!

  3. Matthew Sumpter

    – Cute or Cozy (600 sq. ft.)
    – Easy Highway Access (You can feel the semi trucks as they pass)
    – Private Lot (The other houses on the block are abandoned)
    – Only needs cosmetics updates (The kitchens and bathrooms from the 70’s must be gutted. Oh, plus all of the flooring, walls, ceilings, etc.)
    – Rents currently for $XX, but you should be able to charge $XX and make more. (But you never decided to try it yourself?)

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